Feminist Film Moment - Sex and the City

SEX AND THE CITY (2008)

(Note: If this post is your first encounter with my Feminist Film Moment postings, kindly read the rules of engagement before reading, commenting, etc.)

Written by Michael Patrick King based on the TV series created by Darren Star which is based on the book by Candace Bushnell

Directed by Michael Patrick King

Synopsis:   Big leaves Carrie at the altar, but enough about those two…

Moment: Samantha breaks up with Smith.

Rationale:

We can debate the overall feminist bona fides of Sex and the City. I liked the show but was no stan ‘cause I could relate to this popular foursome just so much. (Fans will say that the women on this show talk about sex and relationships like real women. Meh. My contention is that Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha speak the way wealthy White gay men think straight White women who aspire to affluence speak.) That said, the movie, and the show aren’t without moments that make me say, “Yaaas!”

This is one of those moments.  Let me break down why Samantha’s break up with Smith is no little thing. Bad enough women are socialized to feel inadequate if they don’t have romantic partners, those of a middle age are particularly vulnerable to negative messages about their waning desirability. It’s the reason why they’re at once pressured to become cougars and then ridiculed if they actually succeed in sleeping with or even forging substantive emotional connections to younger men. (The many layers of fuckedupedness shrouding the term cougar is a post in its own right although I’m sure some other feminists have nailed it already.) According to these pressures, Samantha must be dysfunctional to not be happy with Smith.

But unhappy she was. Enough that she had to go. And Samantha leaves the relationship with no guarantee of what she will find. All she has is faith that who she is in her own right – that is, independent of her relationship status – will make prove the decision wise. That’s a powerful message for all people but especially women who are constantly told that being with the wrong man is better than having no man at all (shout out to the heterosexist assumption, too.) 

The fact that Samantha is almost fifty when she chooses to break it off with a man who’s deemed highly desirable (on both meaningful and superficial criteria) instead of settling for less than fulfillment and sparring with women half her age to protect what’s “hers” makes it that more potent.

Feminist Film Moment - Brown Sugar

BROWN SUGAR (2002)

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Written by Michael Elliot and Rick Famuyiwa

Directed by Rick Famuyiwa

Synopsis:   Best friends Sydney (Sanaa Lathan) and Andre (Taye Diggs) love hip-hop... and possibly each other.  

Moment: Andre's wife Reese confronts Sydney with her love for Andre. 

Rationale:

The two women in this scene are deeply emotionally attached to the same man. Reese (Nicole Ari Parker) is his wife. The other is Sydney (Sanaa Lathan) is his best friend. And here they cross paths at a boxing class. Naturally, their sparring match is going to devolve quickly into a catfight, especially 'cause, you know, they're Black women, right? Wrong!  Daps to screenwriters Michael Elliot and Rick Famuyiwa for resisting lurid expectations by depicting not one but two multidimensional female characters in conflict who handle the matter with maturity and dignity. 

You may argue, "Well, they're just behaving like adults." The fact that they're Black women in love with the same man - one of those proverbial good Black men - makes theirs a feminist interaction because of the racist (both overt and internalized) pearl-clutching over (1) the number of marriageable Black men available and the (2) desirability of Black women.  I have no doubt that if Black women were given more opportunities to write and direct narrative features, scenes such as these would be the norm, reality TV housewives be damned.  Still it's nice to see that some brothers can take the opportunity that male privilege has afforded them and represent the sisters right.  Too few of 'em do. 

And I have to say as a screenwriter, I though this was an effective example of giving characters an interesting context for their conversation, especially when they're characters in conflict. 

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Feminist Film Moment - He's Not That Into You

HE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU (2009)

(Note: If this post is your first encounter with my Feminist Film Moment posting, kindly read the rules of engagement before reading, commenting, etc.)

Written by Abby Kohn, Marc Silverstein, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo based on the book of the same name by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Directed by Ken Kwapis

Synopsis:   The film follows several characters of different relationship statuses as they experiences the trials and tribulations of finding and/or sustaining love.

Moment: Beth (Jennifer Aniston) realizes that a wedding and marriage does not a husband make.

Rationale:

He’s Not That Into You is one of the rare relationship books with a male author (comic Greg Behrendt co-written with his wife Liz Tuccillo) where you get the sense, “This guy really likes women and wants them to be happy on their terms.”  Not being a work of fiction, the screenwriters had to work overtime to create characters and relationships that reflect some of the book’s insights. The result: a rare rom-com that both men and women can watch, enjoy and discuss. For the most part, all the relationships are realistic and nuanced, and my favorite relationship is the 7-year romance between Beth and Neil. She breaks up with him because he loves her but doesn’t believe in marriage (which is a dumb saying when you think about it. I mean, marriage exists. It’s not like, you know, a unicorn or the tooth fairy.)  When Neil is there for Beth when she needs him most despite their split, she realizes that he already embodies everything she wants in a partner without marriage. This is not to say that marriage doesn’t have its benefits and charms. It certainly has its privileges for those who can marry. That said, it’s pretty damn feminist for a heterosexual woman to just appreciate and enjoy the partnership she has co-created with the man in her life, and especially to let go of the societal pressure to legally hitch herself to him.

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